That night I gave myself a promise too. A promise that I would stay for one more week and then I would leave. But, somehow, in some way, that week became a month... and, once again, time slipped unnoticed. I was fooling myself thinking it was hard at the beginning, loving him and needing to leave, it was getting a lot harder with every moment spent with him, although I was sure that it could not.
I was starting to wonder if my life even existed before Damon. I can’t say that it was bad, but empty? That was for sure. I never thought I could have loved someone the way I loved him. And I did love him, so much that it hurt. Just one look at him was enough for a smile to be born on my face and just one smile of his was enough to make my day. He was all I was living for; he was all I would die for. I can’t describe that feeling. It was as if he was born only for me, like he was all I was waiting for my whole life. As if he was my other one.
Damon convinced me to cancel my room at the hotel and to stay in his apartment. Not that he needed that much convincing. And not that he was good at it; it’s just that I desperately wanted to be convinced.
God knows how many times I tried to write a goodbye letter to him while he was sleeping. I would take a paper and a pen and sit at the table, not knowing how to begin. Instantly, my hand would start trembling and a feeling as if my heart would explode devastated me. There was neither power nor a force strong enough in me to compel my hand do the writing. But I tried, I tried really hard, that should count for something. Not that it makes any difference now.
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